


Promises Made and Promises Kept (Putin's Best and Worst Day)

by tommythedankengine



Series: Tommy the Dank Nuke: a Horrifying and Regretful Collection [2]
Category: Political RPF - North Korea 21st c., Political RPF - Russia 21st c., Political RPF - US 21st c., Thomas the Tank Engine - Fandom
Genre: Crack, M/M, Other, Please Don't Take This Seriously, Sequel, nukexhuman, poor putin, sfw, tommy the dank nuke - Freeform, unedited but i don't have horrendous grammar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-08
Updated: 2017-10-08
Packaged: 2019-01-10 18:51:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12305475
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tommythedankengine/pseuds/tommythedankengine
Summary: He finishes after a week solid of hard work. He barely ate or slept at all, choosing to push through and build his new lover. It went along swimmingly, and now he waits for the newly-dubbed Tommy 2.0 to open his eyes and speak to him for the first time.





	Promises Made and Promises Kept (Putin's Best and Worst Day)

**Author's Note:**

> i'm... sorry. i promised like 4 people that i'd make a sequel, so i did. it's crack. 
> 
> long live tommy the dank nuke

It’s been exactly 3 days, 4 hours, 58 minutes, and 34 seconds since Putin met the man of his dreams, celebrated and had his heart broken all within a 4-minute innocent conversation. And he is not happy.

 

Not one bit. 

 

His workers, especially Barbara, have been avoiding him for the last few days, although he hasn’t given them a good reason not to. He’s been moody, dejected, and a downright piss-poor conversation partner ever since his heart had been broken. It feels even worse than when Rocket Man had broken his heart all those years ago when they were young and in love. It’s even worse than when Trump (God rest his soul, having been blown to high heaven via Tommy the Dank Nuke) dumped him over the phone just months before.

 

He had fallen completely and irrevocably in love with Tommy, and he had that taken away from him! It’s not fair. Putin sniffs and wipes his red eyes. 

 

He has to fix this. He remembers the vow he swore in his newly-broken heart’s pain: he was going to build a better Tommy. Maybe…? No; would it be too hard? If Rocket Man can do it, why can’t he? He faces the dilemma. Putin bites his lip and pouts, thinking hard about this situation.

 

But… could he? 

 

What would he look like? Would he have the suave, to die for voice that his beloved Tommy does? Would he have the rims that made Putin shiver? Would he have that gorgeous grey-white, wide face that Putin just wanted to caress?

 

Yes, Putin decides, yes. If he does make this… new and improved Dank-Nuke, or just the man himself, then he will take after the man he’s being based on. Except, he will have one major difference: he will be completely in love with Putin.

 

Giddy with power and insanity, Putin grins widely and begins to put a list of materials together in his head. Since he’s the supreme leader of Russia, and America is in a state of mortal panic, it shouldn’t be hard to get the supplies he needs. After this is all done, he can go back to being normal. Maybe the new head of state in America (Speaker… uh… President Speaker of the House Paul Ryan) will agree to go out on a double date! That would be superb. 

 

But, what will he need? One nuclear warhead, that’s for sure. He has to be better than Rocket Man’s Tommy, of course. Mmm, those rims that Tommy has. The same paint. Except, Putin realizes, he should be painted with the Russian flag! That would show the world that Russia (and, by extension, Putin) should not be messed with. Ooh, he could also have a sweet speaker system, which would make them great at parties.

 

Putin gets lost in thought thinking about how nice he and the Tommy 2.0 will look together when they walk (well, his walk, Tommy wheel) in together to parties. How dashingly will the two of them complement each other; all of the girls will squeal and the men will nod approvingly. Yes… yes… they will be the envy of them all.

 

Shaking himself out of his stupor, Putin begins to work on his Tommy. He calls in for all of the materials to be brought to his office slash bedroom, so he can work in silence and he can build Tommy just to his liking.

  
  


He finishes after a week solid of hard work. He barely ate or slept at all, choosing to push through and build his new lover. It went along swimmingly, and now he waits for the newly-dubbed Tommy 2.0 to open his eyes and speak to him for the first time. 

 

Tommy’s eyes flutter open, and he speaks softly, “Where am I?” Putin grins widely. Tommy 2.0’s voice isn’t as deep or melodic as the original’s, but he will do. 

 

“You’re in my home, Tommy,” Putin replies. He reaches out to stroke Tommy’s face, but Tommy quickly chugs backward, away from Putin’s outstretched hand.

 

“Who are you?” he demands. Putin clicks his tongue at the tone. 

 

“Now, now, you don’t speak to your creator like that. I am Lord Putin, your creator, and… hopefully… your boyfriend.” Putin speaks the last word quietly and hesitantly, as he’s afraid that his creation may, God forbid, reject him.

 

“Lord… Putin,” Tommy tries out the name carefully. “Boyfriend?” Putin realizes that his creation may not understand the word, and hurries to correct that. Best not have his creation think that they were going to be  _ just friends _ , of course. He laughs internally; he has plans for him. 

 

“Yes, boyfriend. Someone who you go out on dates with, and do more… nefarious things.” Putin wiggles his eyebrows for added effect and pointedly looks at Tommy’s rims with renewed interest. 

 

“...Oh, okay.” 

 

“Goody!” Putin exclaims, before changing the subject. “Well, that’s all and good, but we have a press meeting at 4, then Rocket Man and your likewise, Tommy 1.0, are coming for a visit and a double date.” He hadn’t been able to get President Speaker of the House, Paul Ryan to come and visit him, so Rocket Man and  _ his _ boyfriend will have to do. Even if they broke his heart. Putin wants to get back at them, of course.

 

“Yes, Lord Putin,” Tommy faithfully agrees.

 

“You don’t have to call me Lord, Tommy,” Putin chides. “Just call me Putin or any variation of pet names.  _ Lord _ is for the bedroom only.” Puttin wiggles his eyebrows again.

 

“Yes, L… Putin.”

  
  


The press conference goes well, in Putin’s opinion, but that isn’t the main event of the night. Rocket Man and Tommy 1.0’s visit takes that plate. Putin’s insides are turned inside-out as he waits impatiently for them to arrive at his door. They were supposed to arrive at 7, and it was 6:58. Late, by Putin’s standards! How dare they. 

 

“Um… are you okay, Putin?” Tommy 2.0 asks softly. In their few hours together, Tommy has slowly warmed up to Putin but isn’t as physical as Putin would like. Oh well, they will have to just work on it. They have time. 

 

“Fine,” Putin says through gritted teeth. “Just fine.” He hasn’t told Tommy 2.0 his history with Rocket Man and Tommy 1.0, and he doesn’t plan to. It’s not like Tommy will like them better than him. 

 

6:59. Putin sucks in a shaky breath.

 

At 7 on the dot, Putin hears soft chugging from far down the hallway, followed by slightly muffled footsteps. They’re here. 

 

“C-Come in,” Putin says weakly before anyone even knocks on the door. The door, made of a solid wood, painted gold, shuffles along the expensive carpet as it’s pushed open.  _ Chug, chug, chug.  _ In unison, Tommy 1.0 and Rocket Man appear at the door, smiling. It takes a solid 3 seconds for them to notice Tommy 2.0, standing near Putin.

 

“You’ve brought a friend!” Rocket Man says jovially. He smiles at Tommy 2.0, while Tommy 1.0 just looks dumbfounded; Putin isn’t sure why he looks like that. 

 

“My…  _ boyfriend _ , Rocket Man,” Putin bites out.

 

“Oh, my bad, your boyfriend! A pleasure to meet you.” 

 

“Who is this handsome fellow?” Tommy 1.0’s baritone voice cuts through the tension, and Putin shivers. He chugs softly towards Tommy 2.0, who looks at him warily but is equally enthralled. Putin’s jaw tightens. What is going on between them?

 

“Tommy 2.0, sir,” he squeaks.

 

“A fellow Tommy, I see! Are you a nuclear warhead as well?”

 

“Yes, sir.” 

 

“Drop the sirs my boy! I can’t believe that I found another one! Oh, Rocket Man, can we keep him?” He turns to face Rocket Man, who looks at him with fondness. Rocket Man’s eyes don’t even stray to Putin’s prone body as he nods slightly.

“Of course, sweetie. I’m sure Putin wouldn’t mind. Right?” He fixes Putin with a withering stare, who, once again dejected and holding back tears, nods. 

 

“Of course n-not. I’m sorry, Tommy, you can go be with your kind,” Putin mumbles. He doesn’t sound sincere. Tommy 2.0 nods slightly and chugs towards Rocket Man and the other Tommy.

 

“Are you sure, m’Lord?” 

 

Putin looks up, tear-filled eyes meeting Tommy 2.0’s gorgeous ones. He nods. “Yes.” 

 

And with that, Tommy 2.0, Tommy 1.0, and Rocket Man all leave the room, laughing and chatting like old friends, leaving Putin alone.

 

This time, while still heartbroken, Putin doesn’t curse Rocket Man’s existence or Tommy 2.0 for ditching him. He just cries.

 

He wasn’t made for love. 


End file.
